Mrs. John H. Sanderson to GE, Durban, 3 July 1875
Title
Mrs. John H. Sanderson to GE, Durban, 3 July 1875
Title
Mrs. John H. Sanderson to GE, Durban, 3 July 1875
Sender
Mrs. John H. Sanderson
Recipient
George Eliot
Date(s)
- 1875-07-03
Place
Durban
Letter Content
Mrs. John H. Sanderson to GE, Durban, 3 July 1875
MS: Nuneaton Public Library.
D'Urban, July 3/75.
My dear Madam
I write a few hasty lines at my husband's request to give you such little details about dear Herbert as came under my own particular observation though there is but little to add.
It was unfortunate that we were absent during the first month or more of his residence in D'Urban as we might have helped to make it less lonely for him but we were very glad that once having found his way here he seemed quite at home with us and used to come in and stay for a few hours whenever he felt inclined: the last time we had seen him, previous to his last sad visit, was in '66 when Thornton and he dined and slept at Bishops-town where Mr. Sanderson and I were staying at the time -- they were both full of life and energy then and we were particularly struck by Herbert's good sense and quiet cheerfulness, which contrasted well with but did not spoil Thornton's gay, good natured, winning manner; you can understand how shocked we were when the latter came down here evidently in the last stages of his fatal disease; he came in to our house, looking like the ghost of his former self, quite suddenly one day and I shall never forget the shock it gave me, but when a few short weeks ago the same thing happened with Herbert I was almost too much overpowered to greet him; he was very cheerful and hopeful about himself and as he said that he had gained flesh since he came down I tried to hope that he was not so bad as he appeared to be -- we used to have pleasant talk about different things -- Middlemarch for instance -- and other interesting matters of that sort in which he seemed much interested but after the first visit I never asked him many questions as his breathing was so difficult at times that I did not encourage him to talk -- he said very little about his own affairs, and as I did not know any thing of his wife or her family there was not much scope for conversation on these points: his last visit will ever be one of my saddest recollections; he was so much exhausted when he came in that he fell into a deep sleep while sitting in an easy chair and it was very soon evident that he would not be able to go back to his hotel that day; our own spare room being unoccupied we were able to make him comfortable and the next morning he was much refreshed and made a good breakfast. I was unwilling to let him go and begged him to wait till the afternoon thinking that I should induce him to sleep here again but he would not be persuaded to remain and I did not like to worry him, so he left here to return and I only saw him once afterwards when Mr. Sanderson and I called to see him at the hotel.
For his poor young wife, left with two babies we feel the greatest sympathy and I cannot help thinking of her constantly as I believe she is very weakly and this dreadful shock so soon after her confinement may be very serious, and then the desolation! Poor young creature! I met with a lady the other day who knew Herbert in Newcastle -- she told me that he was greatly esteemed and liked in that neighborhood. She also told me that his little girl was a most lovely and engaging child -- the most beautiful little girl she ever saw was the expression she used. It was a question with her whether Herbert ought to be told of his danger -- the doctor said nothing and before we could decide what seemed the best he sank -- for my own part I am inclined to think that it was better not to say anything and so spare him the bitterness of knowing that he was to die far away from those he loved best and who were fondly hoping to see him return to them restored in health and ready to face the struggles of life again. To the last he said he was getting better.
I shall always regret not having been here when he came down and also that my husband's duties as editor of a newspaper did not allow him more time to devote to the invalid.
We shall never forget Herbert. I must now conclude this very sad letter and am
Yours sincerely
Marie Sanderson.
MS: Nuneaton Public Library.
D'Urban, July 3/75.
My dear Madam
I write a few hasty lines at my husband's request to give you such little details about dear Herbert as came under my own particular observation though there is but little to add.
It was unfortunate that we were absent during the first month or more of his residence in D'Urban as we might have helped to make it less lonely for him but we were very glad that once having found his way here he seemed quite at home with us and used to come in and stay for a few hours whenever he felt inclined: the last time we had seen him, previous to his last sad visit, was in '66 when Thornton and he dined and slept at Bishops-town where Mr. Sanderson and I were staying at the time -- they were both full of life and energy then and we were particularly struck by Herbert's good sense and quiet cheerfulness, which contrasted well with but did not spoil Thornton's gay, good natured, winning manner; you can understand how shocked we were when the latter came down here evidently in the last stages of his fatal disease; he came in to our house, looking like the ghost of his former self, quite suddenly one day and I shall never forget the shock it gave me, but when a few short weeks ago the same thing happened with Herbert I was almost too much overpowered to greet him; he was very cheerful and hopeful about himself and as he said that he had gained flesh since he came down I tried to hope that he was not so bad as he appeared to be -- we used to have pleasant talk about different things -- Middlemarch for instance -- and other interesting matters of that sort in which he seemed much interested but after the first visit I never asked him many questions as his breathing was so difficult at times that I did not encourage him to talk -- he said very little about his own affairs, and as I did not know any thing of his wife or her family there was not much scope for conversation on these points: his last visit will ever be one of my saddest recollections; he was so much exhausted when he came in that he fell into a deep sleep while sitting in an easy chair and it was very soon evident that he would not be able to go back to his hotel that day; our own spare room being unoccupied we were able to make him comfortable and the next morning he was much refreshed and made a good breakfast. I was unwilling to let him go and begged him to wait till the afternoon thinking that I should induce him to sleep here again but he would not be persuaded to remain and I did not like to worry him, so he left here to return and I only saw him once afterwards when Mr. Sanderson and I called to see him at the hotel.
For his poor young wife, left with two babies we feel the greatest sympathy and I cannot help thinking of her constantly as I believe she is very weakly and this dreadful shock so soon after her confinement may be very serious, and then the desolation! Poor young creature! I met with a lady the other day who knew Herbert in Newcastle -- she told me that he was greatly esteemed and liked in that neighborhood. She also told me that his little girl was a most lovely and engaging child -- the most beautiful little girl she ever saw was the expression she used. It was a question with her whether Herbert ought to be told of his danger -- the doctor said nothing and before we could decide what seemed the best he sank -- for my own part I am inclined to think that it was better not to say anything and so spare him the bitterness of knowing that he was to die far away from those he loved best and who were fondly hoping to see him return to them restored in health and ready to face the struggles of life again. To the last he said he was getting better.
I shall always regret not having been here when he came down and also that my husband's duties as editor of a newspaper did not allow him more time to devote to the invalid.
We shall never forget Herbert. I must now conclude this very sad letter and am
Yours sincerely
Marie Sanderson.
Signature
Marie Sanderson.
Citation
Mrs. John H. Sanderson, Mrs. John H. Sanderson to GE, Durban, 3 July 1875, Complete George Eliot Letters(2026), George Eliot Archive, edited by Beverley Park Rilett. https://GeorgeEliotArchive.org, Accessed September 7, 2026. https://georgeeliotarchive.org/items/show/95575